In an intimate Q&A with New York Times executive editor Dean Baquet for a T, The New York Times Style magazine cover story, the 47-year-old rapper opens up about therapy, and the issues that led to him to being unfaithful in his marriage to Beyonce. JAY-Z reveals that he was able to find a good therapist through friends of his.
"I grew so much from the experience," he shares. "But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a ... you're at such an advantage. You know, you realize that if someone's racist toward you, it ain't about you. It's about their upbringing and what happened to them, and how that led them to this point. You know, most bullies bully. It just happens. 'Oh, you got bullied as a kid so you trying to bully me.' I understand."
"And once I understand that, instead of reacting to that with anger, I can provide a softer landing and maybe, 'Aw, man, is you O.K.?'" he continues. "I was just saying there was a lot of fights in our neighborhood that started with, 'What you looking at? Why you looking at me? You looking at me?' And then you realize: 'Oh, you think I see you. You’re in this space where you’re hurting, and you think I see you, so you don’t want me to look at you. And you don’t want me to see you.'"
JAY-Z says it's this attitude that led him to "shut down emotionally" when it came to his relationships, specifically, with women.
"You have to survive," he explains. "So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode, what happens? You shut down all emotions. So, even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can't connect. ... In my case, like, it's deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity."
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