The reason why men look more younger than their wives is because of bad marriage. If you want to tell a bad marriage, look at the wife and measure her looks with her husband. If the husband is looking radiant, and the wife is looking haggard, then it's obvious the man is an oppressor. Remember I used the word "Haggard" which explicitly points on the criteria of a state of mind. Not on the issue of fashion or cleanliness.
It has nothing to do with poverty or that the couple are struggling, if it's true the couple are going through hardship, then it will also affect the man. But when the man is looking fresh, and the wife is looking all moody and oldie, then the suppressor is the husband and the wife is the victim.
"Some will say, women age because of menstruation and child bearing, then I ask, why then some women with four kids look younger, while some women with two kids look older even though they are of same age?"
When you see a woman who is enjoying her marriage, she looks younger and happier. She glows in the night, and flourish in the day. Even with the chores at home and having to constantly shout at the kids to behave, you will hardly notice any wrinkle in her face even as she ages, because she is happy in her marriage. Her husband is her pride and joy.
But when a man suppresses his wife emotionally and physically, she goes into a web of depression which affects her wellbeing and reflects in her face and lifestyle. She eats poorly, dress poorly and succumb herself to pity and shame, she grows fatter or skinner, and her youth will hide behind the scars.
This is the reason why most men are ashamed to be seen with their wives in public, whereas he is the architect of her misfortune. They prefer to take their side chick on occasions and parties, and leave the fat or skinny and haggard wife at home.
Solution: (For Women)
Apart from God, No one can love you more than you. When you give up on yourself, you have sinned against your very soul. Yes, it's hard having to live with an abusive or non-chalant husband, but the truth is, you can even command your husband to love and respect you by you first loving and respecting yourself.
How? Yes it's possible. What makes you happy? What do you derive joy doing? You know your desires, your wants, things that make you happy, you must grasp unto that.
* Try as much as possible to rekindle with your old friends you have lost touch with (Most of you women throw away your friends just because you married). They will help you light up those fire you use to have for pursuing your desires for career, business, inventions and dreams. Hang out with them and make yourself happy as long as you are not going against the law of God.
* Go to church services and dedicate more of your time with people of God and draw close to word of God. It will mostly help you in times of lonely nights as you can sing praises, read your Bible and pray.
* Find something doing no matter how little, it will help keep your sanity in check. Never allow yourself to be idle. Do not Labour, but find a chore or a work to do. When you Labour much, you age quickly and at the end it always affect your health. You need to cater for the kids? It's not only your job as long as your husband lives, he should be subjected to play his role by the law, unless a case he is an infidel or disabled.
* Look beautiful always. Try little makeup, buy yourself some new clothes you can afford. Bath every morning, and look good, bath in the night and feel fresh. It helps you keep your emotions intact. Never believe that you are too old to make up your face, wear nice fitting clothes, make your hair.
* Eat healthier. Do not consume yourself in calories and make yourself fatter. Eat good foods, eat fish which helps your skin glow. Eat fruits and vegetables. But most importantly, eat what you are comfortable with and happy eating. As you are happy eating it, the happier your soul rejoices, and healthy you will look.
* Avoid getting into fight with your husband. If you notice, when women fight with their husband, they tend to talk and shout more while the man will drop a bombshell and walk away. Shouting increases your blood levels because you are agitated and angry. This is most reason why most women suffer hypertensive more than men. Learn to control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you. You are in charge. No matter how much your husband has irritated you, walk away. By doing so, you are creating for yourself a revenue to live longer.
* Spend time with your kids. They are your joy but do not forget, as a mother you need time to rejuvenate. Spend time with yourself, watch your favorite movies, browse Facebook and make new friends, join good Facebook pages and groups and learn about the goods things of life.
* If you can read, read novels, inspirational books and most importantly your Bible.
* Buy earphone, plug it on your phone, lie on the bed and listen to your favorite music's or radio stations.
Do everything possible to keep your body and soul together. When you came into this earth, you came without a husband, and you will depart this world without your husband, so why die for marriage? Why allow yourself wallow up in pity and shame because your husband doesn't treat you good? You have God, and you have YOU.
Dissolution:
Its hard but simple. If you as a woman is a victim of Domestic violence; walk away from that marriage. Yes the society will blame you, your pastors will criticize you, and your husband's people will condemn you; but there is one who understands your pain, and neither does he judge or condemn you. That person is God. He has heard your cries all these while, but what you can do for yourself, God cannot come down from his throne to do it for you. He has given you the power to decide from right and wrong, to make the right choice for yourself, and when you make that choice, God will help you fulfill it. Yes God hates divorce, but then Jesus said to them, "It's because of the hardness of your hearts towards your wives, that Moses gave the law of divorcement"
God knows every man's heart, and as much as God hates divorce because marriage is a holy union, yet he allowed the law so that many victims of bad marriage might be spared.
If God understands your pain, why would you care what others think of you? There is a saying, "Anything that has no remedy should go without a regard" Some marriages are irreparable, so why stick around?
You might say, it's because of your kids; but if you die in that marriage, you have made your kids even more vulnerable for another woman to come in and use them as servants.
If you are financially decapitated, first Save yourself from that marriage, get yourself up and running, fix yourself then come back and find appropriate legal terms to help you with legal custody of your kids.
But if you are financially enabled, still get out with your kids, and find appropriate legal terms for their full or divided custody to avoid future unwanted occurrences.
Most times, the love we have for our kids blinds women to remain in violent marriages. One thing is clear, the fight and battles in that marriage is already ruining the lives of your kids. Your sons are learning the punching styles, and your daughters are having bad image of what marriage is all about. So why stick around? What you cannot repair, you can discard. But what you can repair, you can maintain. But my prayer for all is that our marriage build on the solid rock Jesus that it might survive every test of time.
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